Amante
by DearSweetPapercut
Summary: "Giving up on love had been the best decision they had ever made because they had found it in each other without ever meaning to." [Sara Sidle/Detective Moreno]
1. Chapter 1

So I was in the mood to write a rather dramatic love story- and this is what I've come up with.

[Sara/Detective Moreno]

I'll start by saying sorry for the Spanish- if it's wrong blame google translate and please let me know if you have corrections- I shall change it.

Please review- let me know what you think.

Disclaimer- I own zilch.

**Amante**

**(Part One)**

Sixty three point one miles of desert were ahead of her; sixty three point one miles of dirt, sand and sky. The sun burnt overhead dancing with the heat in the horizon as Sara made her way down the I-15 towards Pahrump. The empty road ahead of her giving her a sense of freedom; the tarmac was like glistening ribbon cutting across the land. Any other day she would have said no to this but as she cracked the window the breeze rushing past her and the sound of old love songs on the radio she felt content with just being. The stillness of the world surrounding her was more than enough in that moment.

If Sara was honest- she had needed this. She had needed a break from everyday life, from the reminders of her loneliness that seemed to constantly be in the way. She had found herself the observer of the group, looking on as everyone's lives rolled by while hers seemed to be on permanent pause. All of her time was spent waiting for calls and responses. Perhaps she had purposely distanced herself or maybe it had been an accident- a twist of fate that she was to once again find herself alone. Not so long ago she had blamed this city, with all of its flaws but perhaps all of the mistakes lay with her?

The glinting of her wedding band in the burning light was a reminder that her loneliness was not imagined but very much real. Her husband was thousands of miles away lost to a life of his own. Glancing at the clock she imagined that he would be winding down from a long day at work. She wondered if he was alone- but brushed the thoughts aside with a frown.

The vastness of the desert always seemed to catch her off guard. Sara imagined, how she could, disappear here- how long it would take anyone to notice that she had gone. She could drive across state boarders and start life again somewhere else, as someone else. She could find a lover and fall as hard as she had done all of those years ago all over again.

The question that haunted her more than anything- would anyone notice?

Life had gotten in the way of so many of her friendships- she had found herself alone on her Friday nights wondering if she could honestly complain. Hadn't she signed up for this? She could easily make the decision that she'd changed her mind and return to being by her husband's side yet instead of doing such a thing she remained in Las Vegas lingering like a ghost. Somehow she and Grissom found a way to even make this difficult.

It seemed to be all they ever did.

Yet still she couldn't find it in her heart to give up and move on. Sara realised that the reason for this might be the fear of finding that without him- her life had been empty all of these years. For someone who had never experienced love as a child she had been she had been enticed by the overwhelming, obsessive nature of the things she had felt for her husband the first time she had met him. She had given up everything- her home, her life and all of the things in between. She had pushed away other chances at love claiming that they were not enough. But now as she returned home to an empty house every night could she honestly tell herself that it had all been worth it. When she woke to the cold side of the bed could she remind herself that she was happy?

With a wary sigh she turned up the music attempting to dull the sound of her thoughts and self doubts.

The smell of iron was overpowering in the air as she climbed out of her truck, pulling her kit with her. The mid-day heat beat down on Pahrump with little regard to the people in the way. Detective Moreno stood at the door waiting for her, a tired expression crossing his features; one could not help but match as she approached him.

"Hey" She attempted to smile but it seemed to fail.

"Welcome to the fun house" He exclaimed with a grim look.

"I take it we're in for a long few days" She sighed following him into the darkened house, the blacked out windows shutting out all the day light.

"More like week" He corrected her indicating to the first body. "John Doe number one..." He led her to the living room. "John Doe two and three..." They slowly made their way around the house the body count slowly rising.

"I'm going to canvas the block- see what I can find- are you going to be okay on your own?" He asked with a small frown.

"Yeah- I'll be fine" She nodded getting her camera ready.

The time seemed to pass quicker than she had expected- photographs, swabs and samples distracting her from all of the feelings and thoughts that had been drowning her on the way there. Work helped take her mind off all the things that were troubling her- it always had done. Her husband had once a long time ago told her that she needed to stop chasing rabbits and find escapism somewhere else but Sara had never needed that.

"So I'd say we're done for the day" The sound of Moreno's low voice catching her off guard as she cast her eyes over the last room.

"I'd have to agree" She nodded following him out into the dusky light watching as the bodies were carried out one by one. "I guess I'll see you in a few days then"

"Actually... I'm staying...There are still a lot of people I need to interview and my captain told me that this is my priority right now... This is a big bust for vice" He shrugged.

"I'm sure Finn will be disappointed" Sara smirked- her eyes on the coroners van as it drove away, dust being kicked up by the tires.

"I don't think she's going to notice" He responded the look on his face surprising her. "Let's go and get some rooms- I'm exhausted" His body language quickly changing as he buried the depth of his emotion not wanting to show her any more weakness.

They found themselves in one of the local motels- the low rise building set firmly on the horizon. Taking their leave of each other in the hall way they returned to their thoughts of the lonely existence that had started to take its toll on them. Sara stepped under the stream of hot water, attempting to wash it all away- the disappointment, the hurt and all the feelings of being alone but as the heat rushed to her skin all of those feelings seemed to surface. Dragging her exhausted body towards the bed- she found herself collapsing in a heap. Bringing her knees to her chest she attempted to become the smallest thing she could be- disappear- and maybe all of these confused emotions would be gone. The thudding of her heat only seemed to become more painful. A sob appeared in the air as she wrapped her arms around herself, tears flooding past her eye lashes.

It was the sound of a knock at the door that forced her to pull herself up wrapping the towel firmly around herself as she wiped the tears away from her cheeks hoping that her eyes had not been painted red.

"One minute" She called out to the person on the other side with a shaky voice. With a deep breath she attempted to put herself back together opening the door slowly.

"Hey" Moreno stood on the other side with a sleepy smile. "I was going to go to the bar... I wanted to see if you wanted to come"

"You know...I think I just need be to be alone-"She began stopping herself quickly as she realised she was in no place to be able to push away the small amounts of human connection she was being offered. "Yeah, that sounds great...just let me get dressed"

"I'll meet you outside" He smiled at her moving away from the door. Sara turned back to the room finding a fresh pair of clothes and pulling them on as quickly as she could, running a brush through her hair, knowing that as it dried it would only curl more. She applied a small amount of makeup not wanting to cover up the sleepless nights and worn out feelings that had consumed her being.

Moreno was standing outside cigarette smoke swirling around him as he waited for her. Sara awkwardly cleared her throat to let him know that she was there.

"Sara" He turned to her. "You don't mind do you?" He indicated to the cigarette between his fingers.

"No...Not at all" She shook her head, finding the packet she had placed in her pocket- lighting one of her own. He smiled at her knowingly indicating for her to follow him as they began strolling in the night air the pale light of the occasional street lamp the only thing to show them the paths they were heading down. Uncomfortable silence fell between them both as they found themselves unable to find the right words to say, convinced that alcohol would loosen their lips.

The bar was like every generic run down place either one of them had ever been to. Dust seemed to linger in every corner, the dark wood surfaces dull in the dim lighting. But as Sara looked around she realised it made no difference to her- she had started to spend far too much time in places like these.

"What can I get you?" He asked nodding towards the bar.

"Double bourbon on the rocks" Sara replied pursing her lips as she eyed the bottles lined up and on display.

"Coming up" He pointed to one of the booths telling her to grab a seat while he returned with two glasses of whiskey, setting one down opposite her.

"How have you been?" He asked, what appeared to be, out of nowhere.

"Fine" Sara shrugged.

"Sara...I heard you..." Moreno touched her hand, forcing her to meet his eye. "I heard you crying"

"I'm okay...I'm surviving" She shook her head swallowing the bitter liquid in her glass by the mouthful.

"You don't have to pretend" He assured her with a soft voice, leaning forward in his chair, his face inches away from hers as if they were sharing a secret.

"Don't I?" Sara frowned at him. "After all of this time- shouldn't I be happy- I got what I wanted"

"It it enough..."

"It doesn't have to be" Sara shook her head again, taking another mouth of her whiskey enjoying the way the taste lingered on her tongue.

"It can be- if you take a chance" he pulled his hand away, leaning back in his chair as if studying her.

"What kind of chance?" Sara raised an eyebrow at him.

"Do the things that make you happy...Do the things that you want" Moreno shrugged as if it were simple.

"What if I said I wanted you?" Sara asked drinking the last of her drink indicating to the bar for another one.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked taking a sip from his whiskey watching as another glass was placed down in front of her.

"Make love to me... Make me feel alive...for once" Sara stated in a low voice, her eyes focused on the way the ice moved about the burning alcohol in her glass.

"Would it make you happy?" Moreno asked as if it were a simple question.

"It wouldn't make me unhappy" She laughed.

"Then let's do it... Let's get drunk... watch for shooting stars... and make love" He nodded as if confirming something simple like a car pooling arrangement.

He pulled himself to his feet making his way towards the bar- returning with a bottle of red wine by his side. He offered Sara his hand helping her to her feet, leading her out of the bar.

They slowly made their way back towards the motel holding hands and ignoring the better parts of their judgements that told that this was wrong.

They didn't have time for doubts.

He lead her back to his room in silence, they ignored the other people they passed realising that they were in no place to make judgements. The heat within the four walls was unbearable; Sara stood awkwardly in the darkness as he opened all the windows waiting in vain for it too cool down. Moreno pulled Sara into his arms; the humidity clung to their pores as a small breeze did little to cool them, stirring their clothes and their desires. His arms seemed to naturally curl around her body, holding her in place, as she quivered from the contact. It had been so long.

Moreno slowly brushed the hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear, studying the depth of her eyes. Sara felt herself blush as she looked away from him and to the floor but it only seemed to make him pull her closer against him.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered into her ear, his and slowly travelling up her back to her neck. She found the words trapped in her throat, only being able to nod, meeting his eye.

He leant his head forwards, gauging her reaction as she remained perfectly still, her eyes on his lips. Moreno kissed her, waiting for a response, surprised when she deepened the kiss wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I've been, wanting to do that for so long" he said breathlessly as they pulled away. Sara just laughed turning the light switch on, illuminating their surroundings, finding herself strangely saddened by the misery of the setting they had found themselves in. Taking her shoes and jacket off, she sat down on the bed resting her back against the wall, enjoying the cool feeling of the plaster against the back of her neck.

"Red wine in plastic cups...classy I know" Moreno commented handed her one sitting down beside her.

"Thank you for this" Sara said turning to face him.

"No need" He shook his head. "What were you like...before Grissom...before settling down?"

"I don't remember..." She shook her head taking a sip of her wine. "It feels like another life time"

"You know the word is you were a bit of a livewire back then. I heard the sparks were always flying whenever you were around. That would have been a good you to see." He commented in a low voice.

"That was a long time ago... I'm not that person anymore" Another mouthful of the wine would fix the problem, she convinced herself. "We all change... Can you say you're the same person you were ten years ago?"

"No...No I can't" He watched her. "But you've got to get tired of having you heartbroken..."

"Why do you think I'm like this?" Sara asked him, pouring herself another glass.

"Then forget...Forget that you ever met him, that he hurt you..." Moreno urged her.

"It's not that easy..." She muttered.

Without a word he removed the glass from her hand, placing it on the night stand, leaning across her body but she did not move an inch remaining firmly in place. Their eyes met in the dim lighting before he kissed her again- this time meaning more. Sara guilty convinced herself that she had needed this- for once to feel alive. His touch seemed to bring to life the feelings within her that had lay dormant.

Not wanting to think any more, she pulled him closer, losing herself to the overwhelming sensation of the breathless embrace they had found themselves locked in, his hands searched her body attempting to memorise every curve.

It was her silence that kept them going; the echoing lack of noise as he unbuttoned her shirt, kissed her neck, and touched her breasts. A gasp escaped Sara's lips as he pressed against her, his lips running along her collar bone. She tangled her fingers through his hair, holding him against her, wanting to commit to memory the feeling of his body over her.

He tenderly kissed her once the final barriers between them were removed, pushing into her watching in awe as her body reacted. Her legs wound around him as she rocked her hips, her heavy sighs leaving their mark in the air as the heat refused to escape the confines of the room. Her heart thudded heavily against her rib cage, every thrust shaking her to the core.

Their eyes met, a sense of completion cascading upon them like rainfall in the desert, their entanglement coming to a passionate end as they fell into oblivion. Their tired bodies giving them the height they had wished to see, letting them tumble into the abyss. Sweat glistening upon their bodies, marks of exhaustion as they remained intertwined.

He kissed her, pressing his forehead against hers, their skin hot against each other as short breaths passed between them. Words were not an option. They couldn't say anything- they shouldn't.

Moreno collapsed beside her, his eyes on the ceiling waiting for something, anything to happen. Sara pulled herself to her feet, getting dressed as quickly as she could, not explaining as she slipped out of his room.

Tears seemed to sting her eyes as she shut the door to her room, wondering how she had given in so easily. Lying down she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep, Moreno echoing her position on the other side of the wall- the heat, the noise, the torment.

The morning light cast with it the brush of decency, tarnishing them both with the label of liars.

He was waiting outside for her, a cigarette at his lips like the night before and she found her heart sinking.

"Sara" He said- the tone of his voice clearly measured. She couldn't bring herself to say anything, just giving him a small nod following him to his car. His hand brushed against hers as he took her kit from her, the contact sending electric shocks up her arm making her flinch.

He wanted to say something- to apologise, to tell her to get herself together, to tell her that he had feelings for her, to tell her that it was just a stupid mistake. But still no such things found their way to his lips.

The desert sped past them as the silence remained still- the air heavy and thick with so many of the things that were being left unsaid.

"We need to talk" He started as the sand burnt ahead of them, alongside all the barriers they had made to their hearts.

"No" She cleared her throat watching vultures in the sky. "No we don't"

The car came to a halt, the dirt around them falling with the loss of speed, his hands gripping hold of the steering wheel tightly. If he was honest with himself, Moreno didn't know what the feelings in the pit of his stomach were but he needed answers. He couldn't put to bed what had happened between them, until she looked him in the eyes and said.

"You can't just say that...We can't just pretend last night never happened..." He growled in a way that seemed to finally get her attention.

"I don't want to" Sara stated turning to look at him, her expression defeated. "But I don't know what to do..."

"Give this a chance..." Moreno knew it was a lie. They couldn't- they both had made promises, commitments to other people. They had already given their hearts away.

"We can't" She shook her head.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that you didn't feel alive...that it didn't do anything for you..." But she didn't reply.

"Just...Just this week...just while we're here..." Sara said, her voice pleading him not to make a judgement of what she was asking.

Moreno cast his eyes over the landscape surrounding them, the unforgiving nature of the desert, of the blinding lights. It was the heat. They could blame that. But what was the point. There was no one to know...

He leant across the centre console, kissing her softly but it didn't last, her hands clung to him with desperation as he tried to pull away. Neither one of them could say how it had happened, the haze of the temperature faulting their memories, the only evidence to prove it had were the bruises on Sara's back from his steering wheel.

They were late the crime scene but it didn't seem to matter to anyone else- they were alone- abandoned out in the middle of the map. They did the work they needed to remaining separate, apart with all of their will knowing where they would end up when they got back.

And without fail they found themselves on his hotel room bed, tearing off their clothes in attempts to find a release from the prisons they had built themselves in their heads. Sara ignored the gleam of her wedding band as he made her scream out obscenities. Moreno ignored the texts waiting to be read on his phone. They didn't need the outside world- they needed each other in those moments nothing more.

Every night they found themselves dancing to the tunes of their desires, letting go of reality with every kiss, caress and moment shared. Their last day together drew close but still they refused to let go.

The sun cast it's goodbyes over the vast skies and they found themselves once again tangled in each other's arms. They slowly made love knowing that it would be the last time- that beyond this night they would fall back into obscurity.

She let him wrap his arms around her as they feel asleep, the night ending these digressions. It was a closing chapter, a book with no last page.

As the pale morning light flooded through the window but as Sara turned she found a cold side of the bed, his things were gone and as hard as she tried she couldn't stop the disappointment from flooding in. Throwing the covers side she found her eyes settle on the note placed on the dresser, a single daisy left beside it.

'_Me dan aliento pensando en cómo sería ser como para captar lo que teníamos y traerlo a la vida. Me parece extraño que aún te necesito' _

It was a goodbye.

It was the end.


	2. Chapter 2

For anyone who's actually reading this- enjoy- review!

**Amante **

**(Part Two)**

This should have ended so long ago. It should have been a fleeting fling that they both remembered with fond hearts rather than the tangled mess of emotions it had become.

The sound of the clocks ticking filled the house reinforcing every issue with timing they had faced- and every other conflict that refused to fade.

The taste of whiskey had become all too familiar to her as she paced the two hundred and fifty square feet of her bedroom. The air was thick and heavy with the scent of candles, inscent and all the other things she had acquired to make these encounters less illicit. Sara knew her attempts at romance were poor- but he would still smile at the small adjustments she would make for his arrival.

She always kept the door unlocked, he would make his way into the house in silence, and there was never a welcoming scene. Sara had made a point not to offer him anything unnecessary on those nights for he was not a guest, not really. It was the sound of his footsteps that indicated that he had made it- that there had been enough excuses for him to disappear from where he really should have been.

Moreno appeared at the door watching her as she watched her feet, every step focused and precise. He always found himself being caught off guard by beautiful she looked in the moments she'd retreated into her mind. Her dark eyes shared more stories than she would know- her faint smiles were enough to make anyone shiver and the outline of her body never seemed anything less than elegant.

"I didn't think you were going to come" She said quietly not letting his presence distract her. He made his way towards her, careful not to step on any of the creaky floor boards as if they were hiding from someone in the house. Without a word Moreno wrapped his arms around Sara, pressing a kiss against her neck as she refused to react to him.

"I missed you" he muttered to her but the words seemed to make her quiver as she tried to brush them under the carpet alongside their meaning. He turned Sara in his arms, forcing her to face him but she just looked away not wanting to meet his eye, not wanting to see the feelings she knew she would find there. They had gotten in too deep.

Knowing that the atmosphere was not going to change, he met her lips with his own hoping that they would be able to cover it all up. Sara stumbled backwards, pulling him towards her bed with her, her hands gripping hold of his shirt, creasing the smooth fabric smiling against his skin as she did so. It was a smile that said more than he wanted to know.

"You're drunk" He stated coldly as she fumbled with his tie, the silk slipping through her fingers. Moreno found himself grabbing hold of her wrists, moving her hands away but she still seemed oblivious to the things he was displaying.

"I had a few drinks...I'm not drunk" She shook her head kissing him but he found himself turning away out of her reach, holding her at an arm's length.

"How many drinks have you had?" Moreno asked firmly.

"A few...What does it matter?" She shrugged her shoulders hoping that he wouldn't notice the bottle of whiskey in the corner of the room.

"It matters... I'm not doing this... I'm not going to sleep with you when you're like this..." He shook his head he stepped away from her.

"What do you mean? Like what...This is who I am..." Sara made a poor attempt at convincing him to stay.

"No... No you're not... And I'm done with always getting the worst of you..." Moreno claimed honestly making his way towards to the door. To her surprise Sara didn't say a word- she let him walk away.

Perhaps it was because she knew what he was saying was true- he only ever saw the part of her that she deplored. She gave him her weakness because it was the only thing she could afford to share with him. Everything else belonged to someone else- it was supposed to belong to someone else- at least.

There was only one thing left to do- she had face all of the things that she had tried to bury.

He was watching her- she could sense it despite having not looked at him from the moment he'd made his way into the room. Awkwardly standing by Russell's side he'd given everyone a briefing, his eyes burning into her skin as she attempted to merge into the background. It was a poor attempt at trying to avoid the conflict she knew was going to linger between them but Sara realised that she needed time before she was forced to face him.

"That's it everyone, get back to work" Russell ended their meeting the team quickly dispersing back through the doors but he'd already gotten a hold of her arm before she could disappear.

"We need to talk" Moreno hissed in her ear.

"I know" Sara nodded with a sad smile. "I'm...going to have a smoke" and with that she walked away knowing that he would find her- follow her.

The air was cooler than usual, a strange weather front had taken over but Sara didn't mind as she leant back against the wall, lighting a cigarette. She'd barely been paying attention to her surroundings and it was the feeling her skin prickling from the cold that made her think that perhaps she needed to get out of her own head. If she didn't she knew that she was going to go insane.

"Sara... you have to actually talk to me to 'talk' you know..." he broke the silence that had surrounded her, shattering those moments of calm.

"I know... What do you want me to say?" Sara turned to face him, wrapping her arms around herself, shrugging her shoulders slightly at last ditch attempt at not admitting defeat.

"You need to tell me what's going on... I don't know where I stand- I don't know what you want." Moreno said firmly stepping towards her.

"I can't...give you what you want. And for that I'm sorry." She shook her head, looking away.

"How do you know that? Have you ever bothered asking me what I want?" He frowned, taking another step forward to see Sara move away from him her back leaning against the wall.

"What do you want?" She muttered in a quiet voice.

"I want you... No, scratch that, I want you to want me. All of me, not just me in the bedroom or me when you've had a few drinks." Moreno spoke with all the honest he had to offer, moving closer to her, their torso's brushing against each other.

"I'm too scared to admit it..." Sara shook her head.

"What do you have to lose?" He brushed her hair away from her cheek, the feeling of his fingertips brushing against her skin making her shiver, goose bumps appearing on her arms.

"Everything... My husband... My life... My friends..." Imagining the fall out made her heart thud harder against her ribcage.

"I don't know how long I can keep waiting Sara..." Moreno sensed her hesitation.

"I can't... Not now..."

"Do you have any idea what you do to me? I can't go three minutes without thinking about you; I can't pass you in the corridor and pretend. I can't get you out of my mind...I need to remind myself how your lips feel because whenever I think about it it's so amazing it couldn't possibly be true...I would happily give up everything, right now, for you. Just say the word and I'll gladly tell everyone I'm in love with you. I'll throw it all away if you tell me you feel the same..." He finally pinned his heart to his sleeve, there were no excuse, no reasons for her to misunderstand where he stood. Moreno's brown eyes shone with every ounce of emotion he had felt with her realising that perhaps he'd never be able to win her over.

"It was just supposed to be sex... Just... something we could use to distract ourselves... this shouldn't have happened... I should never have called you..." Sara found herself retreating even when she didn't want to. Her stomach tied into knots as she tried to force confessions past her lips, everything shutting down. She did the only thing she could think to do- she pushed him away.

"Then why did you? Is it just a game?" He looked hurt. He was bound to have been hurt but Sara had hoped with all of her being that it wouldn't have been the case. She had never wanted to end like this.

"I don't know... I'm miserable...and I thought... I..." It was true. She had been so unhappy she hadn't been rational, she hadn't been thinking straight and now here she was having made a fatal mistake.

"I should have known this would happen. This is what you do isn't it? You play with men, you reel them in and then you throw them back just like you've done with everyone else... look at me- I'm pathetic. Look what you've turned me into...Just another broken heart you've trampled on." Moreno found the words appearing in the air before he could stop them- all of his instinct wanting to hurt her.

"I never meant to do that... I really... Didn't mean to hurt you... I didn't think you'd... want that..." Sara pleaded with him to understand but it was a fruitless exercise she knew it.

"You honestly thought this wouldn't have consequences? You thought we'd go our separate ways and everything would go back to normal?" He found himself feeling amazed by naive she had been all of this time.

"Please...Please don't... hate me" Sara found herself utter as she realised that this would be goodbye.

"How can I hate you? I don't think I've ever loved anyone more..."

"You shouldn't love me..." She shook her head. She wasn't worthy of such regard- she would remind herself every time she would slip away from him house in the darkness.

"What do you want from me? I can't turn it off, I wish I could." He looked broken. He had become everything she hadn't wanted him to be.

"One last night...and then I promise I'll walk away... I'll never call you again..." It was the desperation in her voice striking a chord in his chest.

Sara steeled her nerves as she stood outside his door that night, he had agreed but on his terms leaving her no choice but to agree. A swarm of butterflies stirred violently in her stomach, her breath hitching in her throat as she fought to suppress the voice in the back of her head telling her this meant so much more than she would allow herself to believe.

She reached out and pressed the intercom, nervously smoothing out the fabric of her dress and twisting a strand of hair around her ear. Moreno's face appeared on the time screen, fuzzy and unclear but very obviously him- her heart pounding an irregular rhythm as he smiled out at her.

"Come on up" He muttered casually.

The lock clicked open and Sara found herself stepping into the wide open hallway, her heels clicking against the tiles and echoing off the walls. Each step seemed to reverberate in her mind telling her this was a bad idea, that she had gotten too deep, that the things she was feeling for Moreno could not be dismissed as lust as easily as she implied.

The door was open a crack, allowing a gentle orange beam of light to dance across the tiles under the door. Curiously she stepped over the threshold, her hand grasping the cold chrome handle tightly in an attempt to hold onto some kind of reality.

"Welcome..." Moreno whispered, stepping close to the door and watching her reaction carefully. The tailored suit he was wearing wrapped around him emphasising his strong shoulders and lean frame- she couldn't help but smile at his efforts. He always looked good, the clothing was optional.

As she tore her eyes reluctantly away from him she realised where the glow was coming from. Every available surface held a flickering golden candle in the otherwise pitch black room, like a million stars had been captured just for her and placed lovingly across the room. Her eyes grew wide as she drunk in every detail of the scene in front of her. He had created a cocoon for them, a sanctuary where they could dance among the stars and forget about everything else.

Moreno's lips curled into a smile as he watched her awe, his hand lightly dancing across her arm.

"I wanted our last time to be special" He shrugged pulling her by the hand towards him. "You look beautiful"

Sara gave an awkward nod as his arms wrapped around her body, bringing her against him, his lips finding their place on hers. He led her towards the bed by the hand and tinkering notes of the jazz playing in the background seemed to cover the painful silence that had fallen between them. Moreno's fingertips danced across the edges of her dress before slowly pulling the zipper down, his hands smoothing over her back. A sigh escaped Sara's lips as she closed her eyes waiting for him to pull the material away.

His movements were almost untraceable, it was the sound of the dress hitting the floor that finally forced her to open her eyes, to meet his lust clouded gaze as it washed over her body. She pushed the jacket away from his shoulders, carefully undoing his tie as his hands remained on her waist, his fingertips tracing patterns on the small of her back.

"I wore this suit to my brother's wedding...I was told it would get me laid" He informed her casually as she undid every button on his shirt with as much concentration she could muster.

"Whoever told you that was a genius" Sara smiled up at him. Moreno brushed her hair away from her face, trying to memorise the smile lines around her eyes, the gap between her teeth and arch in her eyebrow as she toyed with him.

"I wish this could last forever" He whispered to her, but she just shook her head and closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry" Moreno whispered into her ear in a low voice, pulling her down onto the bed beside him. They removed the final barriers between them, their clothes strewn about the floor in a chaotic mess but none of that mattered.

Sara pressed a firm kiss against his lips, turning to face away, lying on her side, miles of skin exposed to his eyes. Elegantly lifting up one of her long legs, she wrapped it around his body as his tangled through hers, slowly moving into her. They stilled tangled together, the bodies willing this to last before they finally faced a goodbye. He slowly thrusted into her as his hands moved over the curves of her body, his lips pressing kisses against her neck, shoulders and back.

A low groan escaped her lips as he built her up, only to slow down again, her body shivering with anticipation. His fingers laced through hers, resting her palm flat against the mattress surrounding her with his embrace. Sara caught her own reflection in the floor length mirror beside the bed, the image of their bodies tangled together leaving her breathless, meeting Moreno's eye her whole being surrendered to the feelings he was gifting her. A small moan made its way into the air as her grip on his hand tightened, pushing back against him as he buried himself deep inside her the tension uncoiling and being released.

Their exhausted, tangled forms remained in place as their breathing slowed down, Moreno finally moved away watching as Sara slowly turned to face him. Her eyes glinted with an emotion he had never seen their before as she studied his features carefully.

He traced his fingers down her side, resting them on the date tattooed there; 10.16.84. His eyes questioningly met hers- he had wanted to ask so many times what it meant but somehow he had held back. There was nothing else between them now- he could- there were no more secrets they could possibly be affair to share.

"It's...the date my father died..." She whispered to him.

"I'm sorry..." He paused. "If you want to talk about it..." Over the past few weeks he had learnt that forcing Sara into doing, saying things that she didn't want to, wouldn't get him anywhere, she needed to be left to her own pace.

"You know... It was a long time ago. I try not to think about it too much..." Sara drew patterns on the space between them, her eyes focused on the paths of her fingertips.

"I understand... My dad... It was not that long ago and I've tried to push it aside..." Moreno muttered to her.

"I wish I could tell you it gets easier...I still think I see him sometimes, when I'm walking down the street or sitting in a cafe. I'll think he walks by... then I need to remind myself it's not possible. That he's gone and it feels like reliving it all over again." Her breath seemed to cling to her chest refusing to make it into the air, her body shuddering as she tried not to let too much slip past her.

"What was he like?" He reached out, touching her hand making her flinch.

"He was... my dad. You know ... when they're gone its sort of hard to remember what he was like. I tried so hard to forget his smile, or the way he would read to me... it was too hard, but now I want to remember... I can't. I mean, I don't think I could even tell you what colour his eyes were or how his voice sounded... that's terrible isn't it?" Sara carefully met his eye, trying to see if he understood.

"No... It's not... My dad... Now everyone knows he was... not a good a guy that everyone thought... It's hard... to remember the good things- I can just recall the times he lied..." Moreno shrugged thinking of the way Vega's cases that been left in doubt after his death.

"But he was good to you right? Don't let all the bad stuff, take that away from you." She said softly.

"He was... These things build and break us I guess... I can't complain about my childhood..." He thought of the days spent in the sun, on the outskirts of the city, away from the sin and the vice that seemed to be the main feature of his life now.

"For what it's worth, I always thought he was a good guy..."

"Thank you... What was it like for you...growing up in San Francisco, bet it was different to Sin City" He wondered how different they really were, beyond the surface.

"I grew up in a tiny town by the sea... You couldn't get any more different from Vegas. But I needed to leave that place- I had to start again... get away from the ghosts. And I ended up here" Sara gave a small shrug.

"We've created a few ghosts here haven't we... The two of us..." Moreno thought about the fall out of their affair, of all the things that it would lead to, of all the things it would break down.

"I think we have..." She couldn't help but face her fears.

"I don't want to let go... Not now... Look me in the eye and tell me that walking away is going to be easy..." The insistence in his voice seemed was wearing on to her system.

"Please... don't do that...nobody ever said it was going to be easy...that doesn't mean we can keep doing this. It doesn't make this right." Sara pleaded with him not to make this harder than it already was.

"Then why does it feel so right?" He whispered, wrapping his arms around her.

"Stop it... we promised. We said it would be the last time; don't make it any harder than it already is." She shook her head pulling away from him.

"Go then Sara... Why are you still here, if it doesn't mean anything?" He angrily moved back to his side of the bed, rolling onto his back, his eyes on the ceiling above them realising that he couldn't look at her- face her.

"I could sit here and tell you I'm in love with you, that the thought of leaving you will tear me in two and that I never thought I could feel anything like this again... but it would make no difference. It's still wrong, I'm still married... you're still with Finn... we're still hiding in the shadows. So let me pretend it doesn't mean anything because if I start to tell you the truth then I'll never be able to walk away." Sara honestly said all of the things that were spinning in her mind. Realising that there was nothing else she could say, she pulled herself to her feet getting dressed as quickly as she could before slipping out of the door like she had done so many times before.

The night that followed was simply just a bout of sleeplessness and the next morning as Sara placed her coat inside her locker she wished that she'd just called in sick. Closing the door, she pressed her head against the cool metal wanting to make the thumping in her head go away.

"Sara" The sound of his voice sent a shiver down her spine and the ache in her back seemed to burn through her consciousness. "There is something I need to say..."

"No..." She finally turned to face him. "Not here"

"Please..." He stepped closer to her, pressing her back against the locker. Sara rested her hands on his chest, trying to push him away but he refused to move. "I have to-"

"No... No you don't" Sara shook her head.

"Hey guys" The sound of Nick's voice cut through the atmosphere.

"Hi" Moreno quickly moved away from Sara, pushing him into the hallway, stalking off.

"What was that all about?" Nick asked with a frown as Sara remained still reeling from the encounter.

"Nothing..." Sara shook her head, clearing her throat. "I've got to go..."

Nick picked up the bit of paper that had fallen into the floor; carefully unfolding it to read the words that had been scribbled upon it, a frown creasing his brow.

_Sara,_

_I understand how hard making the decision to walk away has been for you, but it's my turn._

_I'm leaving Las Vegas, I'm going to start again, and perhaps one day all of this won't hurt as much. All I want is for you to be happy, and if you think you can be, then it'll make this easier._

_I know what we did was wrong, but it was incredible- I'm never going to forget the nights we spent together._

_You reminded me that perhaps we do get second chances, that we don't have to give up on love. And even though I know, I won't be able to feel this way again, not for a long time, I don't regret a single thing we did._

_I can't put into words how much I'm going to miss you, the sound of your laugh, the look in your eyes and the sounds you make in your sleep._

_I just hope that perhaps at some point, some time, you'll be back to look back on this and remember me for all of the good times we had together._

_And as much as you don't want me to say it- I love you._

_Yours,_

_C.M._


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for the slow update- this is the last part- enjoy, please review- let me know what you think!

Thanks to Charlie without whom this chapter would never have been written!

**Amante **

**(Part Three) **

The chills covered her body as Sara stood looking out at the traffic as it continued on its path refusing to stop. She could barely feel the cold as her figure remained rigid, stuck to the spot getting the attention of a few passersby. But she didn't care- she'd seen all of those looks before- the judgement, the resentment, the confusion- none of it was new.

"What are you doing?" A familiar voice questioned her. Sara turned to face the man the low, husky tones belonged to, carefully watching Greg as he slipped his jacket off his shoulders wrapping it around her as if to protect her from the world.

"Come on I'll take you home" He offered her with a frown leading her to his car. A part of her wanted to say no, out of everyone Greg was the last person she wanted to face. She could almost sense the disappointment that he was attempting to hide and Sara knew that she was going to have to explain; she was going to have to tell him exactly what she had done, and talk about how she felt.

The drive back to her house was silent but Sara could feel Greg's eyes on her- as if attempting to figure out if she was different- if in the time that had passed she'd changed. He followed her into her house despite the lack of invitation and Sara found herself simply just accepting it.

"So...do you want to talk?" Greg asked her leaning against the kitchen counter as Sara moved about making coffee.

"Not really" She shook her head, refusing to meet his eye.

"You're going to have to...at some stage...People are going to want explanations..." He shrugged his shoulders as if it was of little regard to him.

"What is there to explain?" Sara muttered with a small frown creasing her brow. Surely it was obvious. They worked in law enforcement- how many times had they seen cheating wives, jilted lovers and broken hearted spouses. How many stories had they heard? Surely they did not need hers to add to that list.

"Why you did it? Why did you..." Greg asked waiting until Sara met her eye. It was a loaded question- he didn't just want a generic explanation she would eventually be forced to give everyone else he wanted her to tell him the truth.

"I don't know" Sara shrugged handing him a cup of coffee turning her attention to the one left in her hand, watching the dark liquid swirl and steam.

"You don't just sleep with people without a reason" He insisted, the edge to his voice giving away more than he had wanted to.

"I was lonely?" She answered in a quiet voice waiting for Greg's reaction.

"You could have called me...I would have been happy to keep you company or to cheer you up" He shook his head as if her reasons weren't good enough. "You didn't have to...sleep with him"

"You were busy... you and Morgan... things were going well...I didn't want to get in the way" Sara wanted him to understand.

"You're my best friend...you wouldn't have been in the way Sara" She'd only ever heard Greg raise his voice on a handful of occasions but as she caught his eyes she realised there was more to this than he was letting on.

"What is this about?" She found herself asking before she could take the words back- she was the last person to be accusing him of anything.

"This is about you" He raised his eyebrows as if it were obvious. "When did it start?"

"A few months ago...it just... it was a mistake... It was supposed to stop..." Sara spoke honestly realising that if she couldn't tell Greg she wouldn't be able to tell anyone.

"Why did it have to be him?" Greg placed his coffee aside, folding his arms across his chest.

"Who else could it have been?" She frowned.

"You could have had your pick of the men in that lab Sara, you know you could have." There was something about the tone of his voice that sent a shiver down her spine. The way he was watching her wasn't right.

"You mean you..." The words came out in a low hiss- and as much as she hadn't wanted them to be they were venomous.

"No" Greg seemed to recoil from the accusation but instead of stepping away like she wanted to all of the words appeared on her tongue.

"Just admit it Greg... you were a little disappointed..." They both knew where the sentence was going.

"Stop it" He said firmly but she didn't stop.

"...when you heard that I'd slept with him...You wished it was you" Tears were stinging her eyes as she baited him wanting more than anything a reaction.

"You don't want to know what I thought when I found out but I'll tell you this much. It certainly wasn't 'poor Grissom' like everybody else." Greg stated flatly.

"What did you think?" Sara's were curled up in fists at her sides; more than ready for a fight.

"I was thinking why I wasted my time... All of these years... when you needed someone to talk to... to take you out... to make you feel better..." He shrugged as if all of it was nothing.

"You were doing those things so that one day I would decide to sleep with you?" She frowned trying to follow what he was saying.

"Sara, I've given you everything I have for the past twelve years. I've waited for you...to wake up and see that I love you and...And still...when you need someone to show you love you go elsewhere! So what's the point? I didn't even mean enough to you for you to talk to me about how lonely you were- it never entered your mind to come to me...You climbed into bed with _him_" Greg paused exhaling. "So yes... I wish it had been me... I wish you'd come to me instead"

"I didn't want love Greg...I wanted...sex..." Sara sighed. "I was using him"

"So what's new? You've been using me for years" And with that he walked away. He'd heard enough.

Sara found herself standing alone realising that she'd pushed away the last person that had cared- what did she have left?

Greg had been the only person that she had trusted to understand but he had turned her away there was no one else to have faith in but herself. And if Sara was honest she no longer could face the person she had become. How could she have let herself fall into such traps of lust? And why had she let everything become so much more?

Losing him had only seemed to reinforce just how painfully, desperately in love she had falling with Moreno. She missed the way he would trail kisses across her skin, the things he would whisper to her when he thought she was asleep and the way his laugh sounded when they would lay tangled together pretending that they weren't committing sin.

But as nothing but silence echoed around her Sara was forced to face that she had given all that up. She had disregarded her second chance- discarded a story yet unsaid- but in the end she had nothing but regret.

Hadn't she promised her that she would never let herself fall this far down, that she would never feel this way again?

But when everything was said and done Sara realised she had broken every promise she had made to herself, all the things she had sworn she would keep as secrets were gone in with a storm.

There was only one thing to do.

It was time to chase the dreams- to admit defeat.

Sara packed her bags, throwing the belongings that mattered into the suitcases realising that she didn't know where she was going but she knew that the only way was out. She needed to leave Las Vegas she needed to start again- she needed to build a home for herself- there was only one place that could be.

She drove through the neon streets wondering if that perhaps one day she would find herself missing the bright lights. But ignoring all of those thoughts, all of those fears, she turned the radio up taking all the turnings out of Sin City since it was no longer the place for her to be.

It was as if she had been driving forever with nothing but desert and night skies. It struck her in that moment she never felt more at peace. She had never known what she wanted as much as she did in that moment then.

Perhaps the second chance was all she had ever needed.

She'd fallen to hard the first time. She'd lost herself as she'd gotten caught up in all the sounds of love. What she had needed all this time had been- just knowing- knowing that someone was there, that they didn't care about her flaws or faults. All Sara had wanted was know that it was her that a man wanted- not what she could be or could become.

And when she had looked into his eyes, seen him smile, held his hand she knew that it was- she was all he had wanted.

They weren't playing games, they weren't just hoping for the best- they'd found it. All of the nights they had spent wrapped up in each other's arms had taught them more than they had learnt all of the years before hand.

Giving up on love had been the best decision they had ever made because they had found it in each other without ever meaning to.

It had taken them by surprise. It had left them breathless. It had them revealing in passion and what felt like madness.

They had found it in their embraces, the time they had wasted and everything else between them. No one would ever know. They would never see just how they felt or how much it had meant. But that made it mean all the more special.

The judgements their peers, co-workers and friends had made only seemed them to condemn them to the sentence of each other and in the end hadn't been all that they had wanted.

"_I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you." _

The words stayed below her breath- a constant reminder that aching that seemed to reach her bones was for something, for someone.

It was the early hours of the morning that she had made it to LA; dusk had turned to dawn and the skies had set alight with the day. And Sara realised that despite having been up all night she had never felt more awake than she did now.

Standing on his door step, a single daisy in her hand just like the one he had left on her bedside the first time they had ever said goodbye, everything seemed to fall to that moment. Taking a deep breath for courage Sara pressed the doorbell. She could hear his footsteps approach the door- a part of her wanting more than anything to run. Was this worth the risk?

What if he turned her away? What if his feelings had changed?

The door swung open but he remained still not moving studying her as she stood with her heart on her sleeve.

"I'm in love with you" She stated plainly as if it were nothing important she was saying- as if their lives wouldn't change from those five words.

"You came all this way just to tell me that?" He raised his eyebrows at her, his tone one of annoyance.

"I came all this way to make this work" Sara shook her head, the daisy falling limply to her side as she realised that this wasn't going to be a reunion like in the movies; there were no thunder clouds over head, no rain or piano music. There wasn't going to be a kiss. No honest, unforgiving kiss that said everything refusing to move past their lungs.

"Make what work? I got away because I couldn't deal with your games Sara, I'm not playing anymore." Moreno shrugged his broad shoulders, his lips sternly refusing to smile.

"Neither am I, I'm here for you, for us." She shook her head tears welling up in her eyes as she tried to ignore them.

"There is no us anymore Sara. I'm not sure there ever was." Moreno couldn't help but think about the way they had ended things.

"I'll leave him...properly...I'll sign the divorce papers...Don't shut me out" Her hand went to the door willing him not to close it on her- not now.

"Why? I wasn't worth it before... Why now because you got caught? It is because there's no-one else? I won't do it again- I won't get all caught up in you and thrown away again." He was protecting his heart- she knew it was the right thing for him to be doing but wanted more than anything for him to see that she'd changed- she wanted to change.

"I don't care about them... I don't care what they think... I... You're worth giving everything up for... I... I just didn't realise it"

"I don't think I can do it again, Sara..." His reluctance seemed to make her whole body hurt.

"Don't you remember what it was like...Don't you want to feel that way again?" Her hands were on his chest, hoping that her touch would bring back the memories but his dark eyes narrowed as she clung to the small chance that was fading away.

"Is it worth it to feel the way I did when I left?" It was a rhetorical question but she was going to answer it.

"I could be... Let me make it up to you..." Sara coyly toyed with the buttons on his shirt.

"I don't just want sex from you. It may have started out that way but... something changed somewhere... I want all of you..." Moreno's voice seemed to drop even lower as he said the last line, carefully meeting her eye wanting Sara to understand that it couldn't be like it had been before.

"Then you can have me... All of it...The bad days, the good ones... everything..."

"You missed your chance Sara, I've moved on. I have a new life now, I started over." He shook his head, his wary heart speaking for him.

"How many times can I tell you I love you to make this better?" Sara whispered desperately to him, clinging to his shirt as she stood so close he could see the quiver of her lips, the rise and fall of her breath.

"How many times can you mean it? I loved you Sara, I was willing to give you everything... but I don't know if I can trust that you mean what you're saying." He sounded defeated but Sara was still ready to fight.

"What do you want me to do? I've left Vegas- I packed my bags and drove across state for you... I pushed away the last person that cared- What more do you want from me?" Her temper was creeping across her cheeks in scarlet.

"I didn't want anything from you Sara, that's the point." With an exhausted sigh he shook his head.

"Then take me to bed and tell me that I'll never have to spend a day without you because despite how much I've hurt you, how fucked up I am, you still want me... that'll you always want me..." Sara pleaded with him.

"I never stopped" Moreno muttered leaning towards her.

Sara wrapped her arms around his neck pressing her lips firmly against his, not leaving anything between them as she kissed him wanting to show much she meant all the words she had spilt. Moreno hoisted her up, helping her wrap her long legs around his waist before he paused to slam the door closed. The loud sound made Sara tremor as he laughed against her neck; it was as if every impulse her body on fire in that moment.

Moreno carried her to the bedroom laying her down, running a finger along the inside of her shirt, every shiny button popping open a trail of skin being exposed. His fingers gently ran down making themselves familiar with her skin. His lips followed suit, tasting her skin every morsel igniting memories he had tried to suppress. His touch trembled across her skin forcing her body to react in ways she couldn't predict. An involuntary moan on her lips and she shifted her body against him, not willing to lose control just yet.

She pushed at his shoulders until he finally gave up, rolling over, letting her take control as she trailed kisses down his chest as her hands worked quickly undoing his belt and his trousers. Sara paused to look up at him with a devilish grin before turning her attention to other parts of his anatomy. His whole body seemed to tense from the sensation of her lips surrounding him, a low groan escaping into the air.

"Sara" His hand ran through her hair, getting her attention forcing her to stop and look up knowing what he wanted a sly grin crossing her lips as she elegantly slid her legs up hovering above him. It was the look of frustration that forced her to give up straddling him as their bodies joined in a way that left them as breathless as the first time.

Moreno rested his hands on her hips, his body moving to met hers as their eyes met in the haze of mixed emotions. Sara leant forwards, her fingers curling around his shoulders as she pressed kisses against his jaw and then his lips. Their bodies came to a halt, colliding as they came undone wrapped up in each other's arms.

"I love you" she muttered huskily into his ear refusing to let go him as her heart pounded against her chest in a rhythm she knew they would never be able to stop.

"I want you" Moreno confessed clearly, his fingertips drawing patterns lazily on Sara's back as her met her eye. "I'll always want you..."

**The End**


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